Happy Mother's Day

I grew up with a rather cynical attitude about Mother's Day.  I learned that the person who founded the observance became disappointed in how commercialized it became just a few years after she started it.  I saw it as a marketing device for furniture stores, restaurants, florists and greeting card companies.  I love sending and receiving Christmas cards, so I don’t begrudge greeting card companies the opportunity too much.  They have to make a living from one Christmas to the next.  I became a little annoyed this year because 1-800-FLOWERS sent me at least two emails a day over the past week.  I used them to send flowers to my late mother in past years.

Mother's Day may be commercial, but it is still an opportunity to express gratitude.  I am grateful for the woman who gave me life.  She not only gestated me for nine months, but also gave me survival skills.  She made sure I learned how to tell time and learned how to swim.  She taught me some manners.  I am also grateful for the woman who bravely bore me a fine son.  She continues to provide our child with care and attention.  She works with me to teach our child the skills he will need to survive and thrive.

As a male, I probably cannot completely comprehend what women go through in pregnancy and childbirth.  I appreciate all they do to teach and nurture the children.

Look Away, Dixieland

The first thing I thought of when I heard about “Accidental Racist” by Brad Paisley and LL Cool J was a conversation I had with a person I supervised back in the 1990s.  She was a young woman, about 17 years old.  Her boyfriend would pick her up from work at the end of her shift.  The first couple of times the boyfriend picked her up, he pulled into the parking lot and blew his car horn.  The car horn played “Dixie.”  In the interest of not aggravating the African-Americans on the staff I asked the young woman to tell her boyfriend to not blow the horn to let her know that he had arrived to pick her up from work.

“But that’s his Dukes of Hazzard horn,” she told me. 

That conversation was one of my first clues that many people have little knowledge of history.  Millions of my fellow citizens do not understand the significance of “Dixie” or the Confederate battle flag.  They do not know that hundreds of thousands of Americans died to liberate other people from slavery, or that hundreds of thousands of other Americans died fighting to retain the right to keep human beings as property.  I have the impression that Mr. Paisley was one such person who knew little about American history until his encounter with a clerk at Starbucks while wearing a t-shirt with the Stars and Bars on it.

The second thing I thought of when I heard about “Accidental Racist” was my father telling me as a boy that there are no such things as accidents.  Bad things happen because of lack of preparation or lack of foresight.  Ignorance is no excuse.  If you don’t know that a car horn that plays “Dixie” or wearing a t-shirt with the Stars and Bars will offend your neighbors, you need to think about whether you make decisions about who you talk to based on race.  I wish they still taught about the Civil War in schools.

Lorraine Rhinehart (nee Althoff) 1936-2013

Lorraine Grace Althoff Stevens Hill Rhinehart was born in Stillwater, Minnesota.  She is preceded in death by her parents, Harold and Enid Althoff, and her husband, John Rhinehart, Jr.  She is survived by brothers Donald Althoff (Arlene) and Charles Althoff, sisters Judith Blinn (Jerry), Valerie DeLong, and Patricia Pikala (David), sons John Stevens (Lillie) and Kevin Stevens (Maria) daughter Sara Bratsch (Roger), and grandchildren Marcus Bratsch, Katie Bratsch, Devon and David Stevens.

My mother had a long career in nursing.  One of the nurses who cared for her late in her life told me that she and other nurses regarded her as a mentor.  She had many friends who cared for her deeply.

My mother gave me many gifts.  As a child, she taught me about survival.  She taught me how to tell time and how to call to learn about bus schedules.  Later in life, my mother taught me about faith by her example.  She had more reason to complain that almost anyone I have ever known, but she complained less than almost anyone I have ever known.  She showed me that life can have joy and beauty even when it is difficult and painful.

An Irritating Question

The question, “What’s the difference?” irritates me.  A person who asks this question is not interested in learning about differences.  A person who asks this is using the question to say that a difference is so insignificant that it is not worth discussing.  People often say “What’s the difference?” inappropriately.  They ask this when the difference is important and they do not understand it, or when they are hiding something.

I wanted to give Secretary of State Hillary Clinton the benefit of the doubt about the Benghazi attack.  Initial reports of such an event can be inaccurate.  The fact that the attack occurred on September 11^th made me suspect that it had been planned ahead of time.  Still, it seemed reasonable that the attack could be a spontaneous reaction to an offensive video.  I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt until she said at a recent United States Senate hearing, “What difference does it make?” 

By asking about initial statements about the Benghazi attack, Senator Ron Johnson may have been attempting to learn about deficiencies in intelligence as they relate to embassy security.  This does make a difference.  Saying “What difference does it make?” makes me suspect that Secretary Clinton does not understand everything she should understand, or she is hiding something.

The Reverend King Dreamt of a Christian Nation

“Woe unto you! for ye build the sepulchres of the prophets, and your fathers killed them.”  (Luke 11:47)

Those who want the United States of America to be a Christian nation would do well to read or listen to the “I Have a Dream” speech by The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  The speech describes a nation in which the citizens love each other, as Christ instructed.  Before his death, Dr. King moved us closer to a society that respects the fact that all men are created equal.  We still have work to do, but Dr. King helped us to equalize voting opportunities and educational opportunities.  He did this without shedding blood.

Dr. King showed us that much more can be accomplished by non-violence than by violence.  By showing us this, he showed us that the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth are not abstract spiritual concepts.  Following these teachings can bring about real and positive change in the world.  The work and goals of The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. can provide a model of how we can become a Christian nation.

Before I Even Asked

Shortly after our severe storm of June 29, 2012, I saw posts on Facebook urging us to petition our state government to pressure AEP (American Electric Power) to restore electric service to everyone in the Columbus area.  I did not sign any petitions regarding AEP because I saw AEP as an instrument of the intelligence of the universe earlier in the year.

In March I heard that a good friend of mine was close to death.  His wife called people to tell them that if they wanted to say goodbye, that was the time to do it.  I was very busy at work at the time.  I am responsible for running a phone room.  The person who would normally be able to substitute for me was out of town.  Just as I was figuring a way to take time off work to visit Zach before he passed, several AEP trucks with cherry pickers entered the alley behind my office.  About half an hour before the evening shift was scheduled to start, one of the men from AEP told me that they had to replace a transformer on top of a pole in the alley and that they had to turn off our power for a few hours.

My boss convinced the men to wait half an hour so that he could save some data on his computer.  When people reported to work for the evening shift I sent them home and then called a buddy so that we could go to the hospice together.  I said goodbye to Zach that evening, but that was not the last time I saw him.  I was able to drive another friend to the hospice the next morning.  This was a person who did not drive and had not seen Zach in many years.  Zach died the next day.

Whether Zach welcomed these visits I cannot say.  He could not speak.  My ability to see him and speak to him before he passed helped me deal with his death much better than if I had not been able to do so.  I am sorry that it took his death to make me better understand a Bible verse I read many years before:  “Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.”  (Matthew 6:8)  Jesus of Nazareth said this just before he gave us an example of how to pray with The Lord’s Prayer.

This is how I will remember 2012.  I received other things I needed before I asked for them, but the image of several big trucks in the alley behind my office will stay with me.

A Real Letter

Thanks to the Columbus Dispatch for publishing my letter to the editor.

http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/editorials/2012/11/27/justices-judges-should-be-appointed.html